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Q: Are you a furry?
A: You mean wearing carcass skins and fucking horses? No. I have never fucked a horse. Unless you mean me being a wolf? That’s racist. Fuck you you fucking racist. Trump will deport people like you.
Q: I sent in a segment for your podcast but you didn’t use it! What gives?
A: Because it was a garbage stuffed fetus. It was terrible, try again.
Q: What do you do for a living?
A: My lawyer responded to my text about my answer with a gif of himself on fire. For the record, I own and manage an apartment building and create shit that I sell like an art major. I have no involvement with illegal production of psychedelic mushrooms or production of illegal liquor, i.e. moonshine.
Q: You contradict yourself all the time. Why?
A: If you documented all your thoughts I’m sure it’d be official that your a sad, furry loser who wanks it to My Little Pony snuff. Verbal language isn’t perfect, and complex thought it hard actualize. Also I’m always right.
Q: Who draws you all of your pics?
A: Me. Wait, unless you mean the photos of me? Most of them are selfies; few are from various friends who wish to remain anonymous.
Q: How many drugs have you done?
A: Everyone thinks I’m some huge drug guru. I’m not. If it was featured in a shitty HBO show, then I probably haven’t done it. Besides weed, cause weed isn’t even a real drug at this point.
Q: Do you accept donations?
A: Yes, actually. My agent manages all of my professional finances. Paypal email is firstname.lastname@example.org, and he will get it to me. Be generous.